@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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