He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She even gives head with a lisp.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
