We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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