were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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