There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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