Taylor Swift is so right about you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
