I'm lost and stupid without you.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
