what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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