I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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