we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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