nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wish my penis had an off switch
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just found puke in my bra..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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