are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
