Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
