Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
