your parents love me but you hate me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
