pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
