I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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