Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
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