somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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