he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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