Got a toothbrush?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
