I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
