sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
