Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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