pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize