god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
