some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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