just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
