Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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