On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
