with your own penis?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
