god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
