Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
