I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
