I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
