U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
