If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
