Midget sex pt 2 tonight
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
