he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
