i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Mom said you looked used
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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