i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize