Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
