discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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