Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
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I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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