The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
