Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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