Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
