dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
