It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
