Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
