OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
