Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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