Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
