i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
