Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
