sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
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oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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