i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
