Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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