There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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