u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My life is pants optional.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
