Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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