He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
