Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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